Many eons ago, (like last AUGUST) blogger Alycia Neighbours from and_frankly asked me to weigh in on a post about Christian Persecution of Marriage. And like the procrastinator I am, especially about hard hitting issues like religion, politics and marriage, I read it and promptly let it simmer in my mind for me to make my points the most eloquent that I could. Then life got busy and thus it is NOVEMBER and I realised I never wrote my opinions on the subject like I was going to. (No, I did not forget. It’s actually been on my whiteboard at Ampersand Review for months. So, without further ado, a response to this post: http://alycianeighbours.com/2012/08/27/dear-kitty-40/)
Marriage and Christianity are two of my favourite topics in the whole world. (They’re not, but they sure are interesting to talk about, especially when there are so many schools of thought on the matter.) But Alycia has a point. Marriage is a cornerstone of the Christian agenda. (if the Gays have one, the Christians have one.) People keep getting hung up on this word because it means something to them. All too often, believers in the JC talk about marriage like it’s something sacred and something that only they can do because “God. He loves me and because he loves me and my spouse, we have this, like bond that can’t be broken because we made vows in front of people and we’re awesome in His eyes and that’s why marriage is so important to the Christians and why no one else can have it.”
Okay, I might be exaggerating a little bit, but we all know that couple. Marriage is the end all, be all, and if you don’t have a marriage like theirs than you are doing life WRONG. Maybe it’s because they are just so happy and they “just didn’t know what love really was” until they exchanged vows or because they got married and lived the life that they were ‘supposed to’ that it’s for everyone, if they want a fulfilling life.
Well, I sort of have news for y’all. Shit happens.
(Divorce) (Adultery) (Coming Out of the Closet years later) (Kids) (Irreconcilable Differences)
and it’s not your job to judge people on why their marriage works or doesn’t work. Because unless you’re God, you don’t judge. And spoiler alert: you’re not the Big Man Upstairs.
See, the thing about Jesus is that he loved everyone equally, because he could. He wanted everyone to be loved regardless of their past, their family and their transgressions. Which is awesome, regardless how you feel about religion.
Too often people get hung up (and claim atheism) because the Christian ideals are forcibly shoved down their throats and people don’t hear about a dude who loves everyone just the way they are, but instead of a place of eternal suffering because they didn’t live their life “correctly.”
but I digress.
Alycia put it in words that I could not. But she’s right. Jesus would want better for you, but he wouldn’t give you a guilt trip. Everyone has their own ideals about marriage but the best thing you can do is be there for people in their trying time and not be a douchebag because you feel they did it wrong. Because that’s not actually your call.
Some Thoughts 